12/11/11 by Felicitas Heyne
| Filed in: Love
It‘s mostly after the first two or three failed relationships that one can‘t avoid to figure out that partners without a past relationship are difficult or not at all to come by. Once one has made it past 30 the possibility that the new love also comes attached to a bunch of kids is relatively high. After all, today every third marriage ends in divorce; some studies even suggest that soon it will be every second marriage. What are the effects of the “ex” on the new relationship? And how can a “second wife” or “second husband” deal with them? Continue reading ...
11/26/11 by Felicitas Heyne
| Filed in: Happiness
Here, on iPersonic the subject of happiness in all its facets is obviously always on my mind, including the question whether there is something like a “universal formula” for being happy. Those readers who have already dealt with their personality type
a little more extensively (and maybe have even read the LifeCoach
for their type) already know that THE universal formula for a happy life just does not exist
. Personal ambitions, aspirations and needs of various personality types are much too different. For instance, something that would make an extrovert happy could well be extraordinarily stressful for an introvert and vice versa. With this understood, every person must decide for him/herself which are the building blocks for his/her personal road to happiness. Continue reading ...
A lot has been written about the personality of Apple founder and visionary Steve Jobs since his death. Speaking in terms of iPersonic personality types Steve Jobs was a perfect example of a Groundbreaking Thinker
. The corresponding description of this personality type
really hits the nail on the head:
(... ) You really bubble over with energy and like to take centre stage. You love variety both professionally and privately. You tackle changes consistently with your optimism and firm belief in your own abilities; you are always on the look-out for improvement possibilities. (...) Hierarchies, rules and regulations arouse your opposition and you love outsmarting the system. It can happen that some people feel somewhat duped by your flexible, spontaneous nature. (...)(You can read the complete description of the Groundbreaking Thinker here.)
Definitely Steve Jobs! And what about you? Are you a Steve Jobs personality? Find out by taking our free personality test! Continue reading ...
11/07/11 by Felicitas Heyne
| Filed in: Love
Sometimes readers do send me suggestions for topics. For instance, Diana recently wrote: “Dear Felicitas Heyne, at some point I would love to read your contribution on the topic major age difference in relationships. After all, one hears about «it can really work well because so much can be learned from each other», to «hell no, this only involves emotional hang-ups». I know that this is a wide field and in the final essence, everybody has to make his/her own choice. Nevertheless, I would very much appreciate your comments. Maybe you can also recount some of your own professional experiences regarding this subject.” Continue reading ...
Today the subject again deals with different personality styles, this time with the focus on the traits “extroverted” and “introverted”, respectively. If you diagnosed your type with the help of our free personality test
, you already know whether you are an extrovert or an introvert:Extroverted: Energetic Doer
, Laid-Back Doer
, Determined Realist
, Social Realist
, Spontaneous Idealist
, Engaged Idealist
, Groundbreaking Thinker
, Dynamic ThinkerIntroverted: Individualistic Doer
, Sensitive Doer
, Reliable Realist
, Good-Natured Realist
, Dreamy Idealist
, Harmony-Seeking Idealist
, Analytical Thinker
, Independent Thinker Continue reading ...
10/12/11 by Felicitas Heyne
| Filed in: Love
In surveys 25 – 30% of all women regularly report that their partnership is suffering from a difficult relationship between themselves and their mother-in-law. Today experts assume that one of the two partners’ mother-in-law plays a decisive role in approximately 12.5% of all marriages ending up before a divorce court. In other words, every eight marriage (also) fails due to the mother of one of the partners. In surveys the daughters-in-law clearly outnumber the sons-in-law with their grievances. Although the latter enjoy telling ribald jokes about their mother-in-law at the regulars‘ table, all in all they generally appear to be at least satisfied when asked a little more seriously. Continue reading ...
Therapies for couples can be a demanding affair all on their own; for the therapist it is frequently like walking on eggshells between empathy and neutrality among the wishes of both partners and the struggle not to be made into an ally in a bad triangle. If one of the two partners is borderliner as well, as a therapist I then feel as if I am dealing with a relationship powder keg ready to explode at the smallest wrong move. Continue reading ...
If you have already read my past contributions
on the subject introversion
, you already know that introverts have a more difficult life in our, by extroverts dominated society. In addition to the increased risk to their physical and psychological health
(as for instance disorders like depression, affective disorders, burnout and others) they are also less equipped to deal with stress than extroverts: They handle stress more poorly and generally are less satisfied with their life than extroverts. Consequently introverts are more easily attracted to drugs, addictive substances or prescription drug abuse and apparently also choose suicide in hopeless life situations more frequently than extroverts. Continue reading ...
The primary aspiration of all Idealists (Spontaneous Idealists
, Dreamy Idealists
, Harmony-seeking Idealists
and Engaged Idealists
) is self-discovery
. If you are an Idealist, life represents one continuous search for a deeper meaning: Who am I? Where am I going? What is my destiny? This already describes the most important pillar of your personal concept of happiness: The meaning of life! Continue reading ...
There are for idealistic personality types in the iPersonic Typology: the Spontaneous Idealist
, the Dreamy Idealist
, the Engaged Idealist
and the Harmony-seeking Idealist
. You can take our free personality test
to find out if you belong to one of those iPersonic personality types. If you do, only a profession that is important and worth your while is going to satisfy you in the long run. The latter was not intended to imply something material. Since you have a profound personal value system and your need for meaning in all areas of life is strong you must make sure that this aspect becomes a part of your professional every day life, as well. A pure bread-and-butter profession you only practice to make a living and without conviction – or, even worse: contrary to your innermost conviction - is a guarantee for unhappiness. Therefore, you should ask yourself whether your today‘s profession satisfies you in this regard or whether there is need for a change. Continue reading ...
Our free personality test
is extrapolated from a typology which was originally developed by the psychoanalyst Carl Gustaf Jung and later differentiated by Isabel Meyers and Katherine Briggs. This typology is based on different temperaments and attitudes respectively that are widely held to be hereditary. They take influence on our perceptions, thought process, feelings and behavior. This typology is based on four opposite pairs of personality dimensions. These are: Continue reading ...
Besides their profession, for most people a partnership is the most important component of their life. Research proves that a lasting, happy loving Besides their profession, for most people a partnership is the most important component of their life. Research proves that a lasting, happy loving relationship is actually one of the most important, if not the most important key to individual happiness. Most of us appear to know this instinctively and therefore – except for a very few solitarily folks among us – at some point most of the singles sooner or later are again looking for a (new) partner. Introverts admittedly often hesitate longer than extroverts. For one that is because they can deal better with being alone and therefore value the advantages of being single more than extroverts. Apart from that, for them it is difficult to approach other people – and that is naturally the basic prerequisite when one is looking for a new partner! Continue reading ...
In many respects an introvert’s life in today’s society is tough. In our western culture, the qualities of the extrovert are at first glance much more valued than those of the introvert: Quick, competitive, socially competent, action orientated, assertive, sociable, active … the list is almost endless. “Just do it!” the athletic company Nike’s slogan puts a point to it: Get going, move, and act! And that with a healthy dose of self-confidence, optimism, candor and a touch of the old elbow action, if you please. Then you are successful, professionally as well as privately. Then the world is your oyster, people admire you and seek your company. You are the radiant center of the party and no one has the chance to miss your professional achievements. You don’t just take the initiative and strive for quick results but you are also familiar with, and heed the old proverb: “You have to blow your own trumpet.” You cultivate contacts and networks for all they are worth and not merely in real life, in the virtual sphere of social networks, as well. You are the master of the extraversion claviature and work it with a fine ear for society’s demands and rules. Continue reading ...
Are you one of the introverts among our personality types? (Take our free personality test
, if you're not sure!) If that is the case, you are a person who prefers to recharge his/her batteries during his/her alone time – you are one of the famous “still waters”. Because you won’t let others get truly close to you, for them it is probably not all that easy getting to know you better. You are a better listener than speaker and take your time to think before you talk. Because too much company tires you, you probably prefer a few selected friends. As opposed to the extroverts, you manage social contacts better in homeopathic doses. Retreating and being by yourself are your elemental sources of energy. Continue reading ...
06/03/11 by Felicitas Heyne
| Filed in: Love
A while ago we were once again invited to a civil marriage ceremony. Since the registrar in charge limited herself to coming up with a dry, boring “boiler-plate” program on the subject of marriage, love, partnership instead of a personal presentation I could not help myself but to let my thoughts wander while listening to her. I was once again pondering the question about the role played by rituals in our every day lives including our partnerships. Continue reading ...
Since the end of the 90s a new branch of the science, also known as Positive Psychology has been dealing with the essentials for happiness. In order to help you find out which happiness potentials are maybe lying idle with you, I have summarized the 40 most important insights on the subject “happiness” in an abbreviated format in the following “checklist”. Continue reading ...
04/21/11 by Felicitas Heyne
| Filed in: Crisis
This comment to one of my articles motivated me to comment on the subject of suicide. If you are one of those people who either happen to harbor the thought about suicide as you read this or frequently think about suicide because you wonder whether suicide might be a suitable solution for a momentary personal crisis, I would like to offer a few (hopefully helpful) thoughts. Continue reading ...
Born in 1905, psychiatrist Viktor Frankl founded a special psychotherapy school of thought: the Logotherapy
. The Greek word “logos” stands for meaning and this basically already outlines the central content of this therapy concept. Frankl sees the search for meaning as a human fundamental motivation: As the only living creature aware of its finiteness, and so as not to despair, the human being must give its existence meaning. If his innate “need for meaning” is frustrated, the resulting sense of futility manifests itself in emotional disturbances such as depression, aggression, or addiction. Conversely, one could say: happiness is to have found the meaning to one’s life. Continue reading ...
The concept Burnout (syndrome) has become a major element of our every day vocabulary. The Californian psychologist Christina Maslach first examined it in 1976. She identified the syndrome’s three components:
Continue reading ...
- Emotional exhaustion: The sense of being exhausted and depleted by professional contact with other people.
- Depersonalization: Apathy, insensitivity, disinterest in people, work processes and –performance.
- Reduced productivity: The feeling of no longer being capable to accomplish a task well and successfully.
The American psychologist Mihály Csikszentmihályi
did research on the subject of happiness in the middle 70s and came to the conclusion that people experienced the most happiness when they were in a state that he called „Flow“. Flow means that we are totally immersed in an activity while everything else becomes secondary.
Time and space, even our own needs recede and lose their significance. We are totally concentrated, the task completely absorbs us, and we merge with whatever we are doing, so to speak. This is indeed an important character strength for the achievement of your happiness: Enthusiasm! Enthusiasm represents the ability to meet the world with excitement and energy, to be totally involved with what one happens to be doing at the time. Continue reading ...
As in all other areas of your life, your personality plays a decisive role in the things you enjoy or don’t enjoy. It plays a role in why you are more successful in a particular area with less effort and why some areas might be more difficult for you and require more effort. Your personality affects how you affect others and how you see them. In addition to your personal partnership, your profession should ideally be the second sustaining mainstay in your life. Continue reading ...