iPersonic Blog

by Felicitas Heyne, Psychologist and Book-Author

Topics: Career Communication Crisis Education Happiness Health Introversion Life Love Personal Development Personality Psychology Self-Confidence

Are introverted and extroverted Partners a Match?

Question of a Reader: "I am an introvert myself but my friend is totally extroverted. At first it was no problem because I tend to believe that he likes the fact that I am very quiet. And I also liked it because he is a funny, lively chap and because there are aspects to his nature I am lacking but find interesting. On the other hand the problem is that he is extremely talkative and inquisitive. While he always tries to draw strangers into conversations regardless of the location, be it the drug store or the hot dog stand in order to learn something new, I am the exact opposite. I prefer to avoid getting involved in conversations with others because it just isn’t my thing and I would rather be left alone, most of the time I wouldn’t even know what to say. Originally, we saw our contrast in a positive light and told each other that we would be able to help each other - I to get him to quiet down and keep his feet on the ground and he by helping me to open up a little. However, the reality is that he is a person who truly enjoys conversations, who knows a lot about lots of things and who can talk for hours. And that is the point when things get very stressful for me. I am always being delegated to the corner and can’t get out of it. When I happen to say something, he immediately has something to contribute and is right back in control of the conversation. Conversations are wonderful if everyone gets his or her turn but it's a bit much for me when I am always relegated to the role of a listener. Beyond that I fear to bore him when I say nothing. Can this relationship work nonetheless?"
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Here's why we need a World Introvert Day

If you have already read my past contributions on the subject introversion, you already know that introverts have a more difficult life in our, by extroverts dominated society. In addition to the increased risk to their physical and psychological health (as for instance disorders like depression, affective disorders, burnout and others) they are also less equipped to deal with stress than extroverts: They handle stress more poorly and generally are less satisfied with their life than extroverts. Consequently introverts are more easily attracted to drugs, addictive substances or prescription drug abuse and apparently also choose suicide in hopeless life situations more frequently than extroverts. Continue reading ...

Introverted - and happy in love

Besides their profession, for most people a partnership is the most important component of their life. Research proves that a lasting, happy loving Besides their profession, for most people a partnership is the most important component of their life. Research proves that a lasting, happy loving relationship is actually one of the most important, if not the most important key to individual happiness. Most of us appear to know this instinctively and therefore – except for a very few solitarily folks among us – at some point most of the singles sooner or later are again looking for a (new) partner. Introverts admittedly often hesitate longer than extroverts. For one that is because they can deal better with being alone and therefore value the advantages of being single more than extroverts. Apart from that, for them it is difficult to approach other people – and that is naturally the basic prerequisite when one is looking for a new partner! Continue reading ...

Introverted – and happy in your Job!

In many respects an introvert’s life in today’s society is tough. In our western culture, the qualities of the extrovert are at first glance much more valued than those of the introvert: Quick, competitive, socially competent, action orientated, assertive, sociable, active … the list is almost endless. “Just do it!” the athletic company Nike’s slogan puts a point to it: Get going, move, and act! And that with a healthy dose of self-confidence, optimism, candor and a touch of the old elbow action, if you please. Then you are successful, professionally as well as privately. Then the world is your oyster, people admire you and seek your company. You are the radiant center of the party and no one has the chance to miss your professional achievements. You don’t just take the initiative and strive for quick results but you are also familiar with, and heed the old proverb: “You have to blow your own trumpet.” You cultivate contacts and networks for all they are worth and not merely in real life, in the virtual sphere of social networks, as well. You are the master of the extraversion claviature and work it with a fine ear for society’s demands and rules. Continue reading ...

Introversion - a Health Risk?

Are you one of the introverts among our personality types? (Take our free personality test, if you're not sure!) If that is the case, you are a person who prefers to recharge his/her batteries during his/her alone time – you are one of the famous “still waters”. Because you won’t let others get truly close to you, for them it is probably not all that easy getting to know you better. You are a better listener than speaker and take your time to think before you talk. Because too much company tires you, you probably prefer a few selected friends. As opposed to the extroverts, you manage social contacts better in homeopathic doses. Retreating and being by yourself are your elemental sources of energy. Continue reading ...