A Word about Panic Attacks and Anxiety Disorders
01/25/12 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Psychology
A subject that I have not yet (to my
very own surprise) discussed in this blog: anxiety
disorders. Something that frequently surprises me
personally is the fact that this psychological disorder is during a
patient’s first visit to his/her physician frequently not at all or
incorrectly diagnosed. Instead, patients are very often handed
antidepressants – or if it happens to be a homeopathically inclined
physician – treatment with St. Johns Wort or something similar is
then recommended. At first I thought this was a random phenomena in
my practice but according to what I have been reading that is
apparently not the case. In the course of a study a professor for
psychosomatics at Witten University determined that it usually
takes seven (!!) years for this disorder to be properly treated –
and – even more bewildering to me – that “even psychiatrists prefer
diagnosing a depression as anxiety disorder.” It is a fact that
anxiety disorders are the most prevalent psychological disorders of
women and that at one point or the other in their lives 15% of all
Germans are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and I have decided
that it is high time for me to post a few blog contributions on the
subject!
Continue reading ...
What is Personality?
01/09/12 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Personality
Philosophers, authors and scientists
have been challenged since ancient times by the question as to what
constitutes human personality. The physician Hippocrates (460 – 377
BC) developed one of the oldest personality models we know. He
divided humans into four different temperament types:
sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric, and melancholic and
attributed not only certain character traits but also the
propensity for certain diseases to each of them. Obviously
Hippocrates’ personality model has long been superseded, but even
as of today researchers have been unable to agree on a common
definition for what constitutes personality. Our personality can
probably best be defined as a complex construction of our daily
perceptions, thoughts and activities. Conversely our personality
also influences our perception of the world, our way of thinking
and acting. Continue reading
...
Do you know your Drivers?
01/02/12 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Personality
During the course of my continuing
education I recently came across the concept of the so-called
„Drivers“ that immediately downright fascinated me. This concept
originates from transactional analysis (a theory dealing with the
human personality and a related psychotherapeutic procedure). The
“Drivers” are a model for inner patterns, one could also call them
motivators: they influence our thinking, feeling and behavior. As
so many of our inner patterns they also date back to our infancy;
they basically represent the voices of external authorities
(primarily those of our parents but also those of teachers, other
important persons or society in general). Step by step, we tend to
internalize the demands and expectations of these authorities to
the point where they become an integral part of our very being.
Continue reading
...
The Effects of Ex-Partners on new Relationships
12/11/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Love
It‘s mostly after the first two or
three failed relationships that one can‘t avoid to figure out that
partners without a past relationship are difficult or not at all to
come by. Once one has made it past 30 the possibility that the new
love also comes attached to a bunch of kids is relatively high.
After all, today every third marriage ends in divorce; some studies
even suggest that soon it will be every second marriage. What are
the effects of the “ex” on the new relationship? And how can a
“second wife” or “second husband” deal with them?
Continue reading ...
My 10 Rules for Life
11/26/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Happiness
Here, on iPersonic the subject of
happiness in all its facets is obviously always on my mind,
including the question whether there is something like a “universal
formula” for being happy. Those readers who have already dealt with
their personality
type a little more extensively (and maybe have even read the
LifeCoach for their type) already know
that THE universal formula for a happy life just does not
exist. Personal ambitions, aspirations and needs of
various personality types are much too different. For instance,
something that would make an extrovert happy could well be
extraordinarily stressful for an introvert and vice versa. With
this understood, every person must decide for him/herself which are
the building blocks for his/her personal road to happiness.
Continue reading
...
Are you a Steve Jobs personality?
11/15/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Personality
A lot has been written about the
personality of Apple founder and visionary Steve Jobs since his
death. Speaking in terms of iPersonic personality types Steve Jobs
was a perfect example of a Groundbreaking Thinker. The
corresponding description of this personality
type really hits the nail on the head:
(... ) You really bubble over with energy and like to take centre stage. You love variety both professionally and privately. You tackle changes consistently with your optimism and firm belief in your own abilities; you are always on the look-out for improvement possibilities. (...) Hierarchies, rules and regulations arouse your opposition and you love outsmarting the system. It can happen that some people feel somewhat duped by your flexible, spontaneous nature. (...)Definitely Steve Jobs! And what about you? Are you a Steve Jobs personality? Find out by taking our free personality test! Continue reading ...
(You can read the complete description of the Groundbreaking Thinker here.)
Can Relationships with Major Age Differences work?
11/07/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Love
Sometimes readers do send me
suggestions for topics. For instance, Diana recently wrote:
“Dear Felicitas Heyne, at some point I would love to read your
contribution on the topic major age difference in relationships.
After all, one hears about «it can really work well because so much
can be learned from each other», to «hell no, this only involves
emotional hang-ups». I know that this is a wide field and in the
final essence, everybody has to make his/her own choice.
Nevertheless, I would very much appreciate your comments. Maybe you
can also recount some of your own professional experiences
regarding this subject.”
Continue reading ...
Is your Relationship stuck in a Communication Loop?
Today the subject again deals with
different personality styles, this time with the focus on the
traits “extroverted” and “introverted”, respectively. If you
diagnosed your type with the help of our free personality test, you already
know whether you are an extrovert or an introvert:
Extroverted: Energetic Doer, Laid-Back Doer, Determined Realist, Social Realist, Spontaneous Idealist, Engaged Idealist, Groundbreaking Thinker, Dynamic Thinker
Introverted: Individualistic Doer, Sensitive Doer, Reliable Realist, Good-Natured Realist, Dreamy Idealist, Harmony-Seeking Idealist, Analytical Thinker, Independent Thinker Continue reading ...
Extroverted: Energetic Doer, Laid-Back Doer, Determined Realist, Social Realist, Spontaneous Idealist, Engaged Idealist, Groundbreaking Thinker, Dynamic Thinker
Introverted: Individualistic Doer, Sensitive Doer, Reliable Realist, Good-Natured Realist, Dreamy Idealist, Harmony-Seeking Idealist, Analytical Thinker, Independent Thinker Continue reading ...
How to cope with a difficult Mother in Law
10/12/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Love
In surveys 25 – 30% of all women
regularly report that their partnership is suffering from a
difficult relationship between themselves and their mother-in-law.
Today experts assume that one of the two partners’ mother-in-law
plays a decisive role in approximately 12.5% of all marriages
ending up before a divorce court. In other words, every eight
marriage (also) fails due to the mother of one of the partners. In
surveys the daughters-in-law clearly outnumber the sons-in-law with
their grievances. Although the latter enjoy telling ribald jokes
about their mother-in-law at the regulars‘ table, all in all they
generally appear to be at least satisfied when asked a little more
seriously. Continue
reading ...
How to make a Borderline Relationship work
Therapies for couples can be a
demanding affair all on their own; for the therapist it is
frequently like walking on eggshells between empathy and neutrality
among the wishes of both partners and the struggle not to be made
into an ally in a bad triangle. If one of the two partners is
borderliner as well, as a therapist I then feel as if I am dealing
with a relationship powder keg ready to explode at the smallest
wrong move. Continue
reading ...
Here's why we need a World Introvert Day
09/20/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Introversion
If you have already read my past
contributions on the subject introversion, you
already know that introverts have a more difficult life in our, by
extroverts dominated society. In addition to the increased risk to their
physical and psychological health (as for instance disorders
like depression, affective disorders, burnout and others) they are
also less equipped to deal with stress than extroverts: They handle
stress more poorly and generally are less satisfied with their life
than extroverts. Consequently introverts are more easily attracted
to drugs, addictive substances or prescription drug abuse and
apparently also choose suicide in hopeless life situations more
frequently than extroverts. Continue
reading ...
How Idealists can find Meaning in their Lives
The primary aspiration of all
Idealists (Spontaneous Idealists, Dreamy
Idealists, Harmony-seeking Idealists and
Engaged Idealists) is
self-discovery and
self-actualization. If you are an Idealist, life
represents one continuous search for a deeper meaning: Who am I?
Where am I going? What is my destiny? This already describes the
most important pillar of your personal concept of happiness:
The meaning of life! Continue
reading ...
Idealists need a Vocation, not a Profession
There are for idealistic personality
types in the iPersonic Typology: the Spontaneous Idealist,
the Dreamy Idealist, the Engaged
Idealist and the Harmony-seeking Idealist. You
can take our free
personality test to find out if you belong to one of those
iPersonic personality types. If you do, only a profession that is
important and worth your while is going to satisfy you in the long
run. The latter was not intended to imply something material. Since
you have a profound personal value system and your need for meaning
in all areas of life is strong you must make sure that this aspect
becomes a part of your professional every day life, as well. A pure
bread-and-butter profession you only practice to make a living and
without conviction – or, even worse: contrary to your innermost
conviction - is a guarantee for unhappiness. Therefore, you should
ask yourself whether your today‘s profession satisfies you in this
regard or whether there is need for a change. Continue
reading ...
About the iPersonic Personality Test
07/29/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Personality
Our free personality test is
extrapolated from a typology which was originally developed by the
psychoanalyst Carl Gustaf Jung and later differentiated by Isabel
Meyers and Katherine Briggs. This typology is based on different
temperaments and attitudes respectively that are widely held to be
hereditary. They take influence on our perceptions, thought
process, feelings and behavior. This typology is based on four
opposite pairs of personality dimensions. These are: Continue
reading ...
Introverted - and happy in love
Besides their profession, for most
people a partnership is the most important component of their life.
Research proves that a lasting, happy loving Besides their
profession, for most people a partnership is the most important
component of their life. Research proves that a lasting, happy
loving relationship is actually one of the most important, if not
the most important key to individual happiness. Most of us appear
to know this instinctively and therefore – except for a very few
solitarily folks among us – at some point most of the singles
sooner or later are again looking for a (new) partner. Introverts
admittedly often hesitate longer than extroverts. For one that is
because they can deal better with being alone and therefore value
the advantages of being single more than extroverts. Apart from
that, for them it is difficult to approach other people – and that
is naturally the basic prerequisite when one is looking for a new
partner! Continue reading
...
Introverted – and happy in your Job!
In many respects an introvert’s life
in today’s society is tough. In our western culture, the qualities
of the extrovert are at first glance much more valued than those of
the introvert: Quick, competitive, socially competent, action
orientated, assertive, sociable, active … the list is almost
endless. “Just do it!” the athletic company Nike’s slogan puts a
point to it: Get going, move, and act! And that with a healthy dose
of self-confidence, optimism, candor and a touch of the old elbow
action, if you please. Then you are successful, professionally as
well as privately. Then the world is your oyster, people admire you
and seek your company. You are the radiant center of the party and
no one has the chance to miss your professional achievements. You
don’t just take the initiative and strive for quick results but you
are also familiar with, and heed the old proverb: “You have to blow
your own trumpet.” You cultivate contacts and networks for all they
are worth and not merely in real life, in the virtual sphere of
social networks, as well. You are the master of the extraversion
claviature and work it with a fine ear for society’s demands and
rules. Continue
reading ...
Introversion - a Health Risk?
06/15/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Introversion
Are you one of the introverts among
our personality types? (Take our free personality test, if you're not sure!)
If that is the case, you are a person who prefers to recharge
his/her batteries during his/her alone time – you are one of the
famous “still waters”. Because you won’t let others get truly close
to you, for them it is probably not all that easy getting to know
you better. You are a better listener than speaker and take your
time to think before you talk. Because too much company tires you,
you probably prefer a few selected friends. As opposed to the
extroverts, you manage social contacts better in homeopathic doses.
Retreating and being by yourself are your elemental sources of
energy. Continue reading
...
How love rituals can help you improve your love life
06/03/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Love
A while ago we were once again invited
to a civil marriage ceremony. Since the registrar in charge limited
herself to coming up with a dry, boring “boiler-plate” program on
the subject of marriage, love, partnership instead of a personal
presentation I could not help myself but to let my thoughts wander
while listening to her. I was once again pondering the question
about the role played by rituals in our every day lives including
our partnerships.
Continue reading ...
40 Tips for a Happier Life
05/03/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Happiness
Since the end of the 90s a new branch
of the science, also known as Positive Psychology has been dealing
with the essentials for happiness. In order to help you find out
which happiness potentials are maybe lying idle with you, I have
summarized the 40 most important insights on the subject
“happiness” in an abbreviated format in the following “checklist”.
Continue reading
...
I don't want to live anymore
04/21/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Crisis
This comment to one of my articles
motivated me to comment on the subject of suicide. If you are one
of those people who either happen to harbor the thought about
suicide as you read this or frequently think about suicide because
you wonder whether suicide might be a suitable solution for a
momentary personal crisis, I would like to offer a few (hopefully
helpful) thoughts. Continue reading
...
Give your life a meaning
04/15/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Happiness
Born in 1905, psychiatrist Viktor
Frankl founded a special psychotherapy school of thought: the
Logotherapy. The Greek word “logos” stands
for meaning and this basically already outlines the central content
of this therapy concept. Frankl sees the search for meaning as a
human fundamental motivation: As the only living creature aware of
its finiteness, and so as not to despair, the human being must give
its existence meaning. If his innate “need for meaning” is
frustrated, the resulting sense of futility manifests itself in
emotional disturbances such as depression, aggression, or
addiction. Conversely, one could say: happiness is to have found
the meaning to one’s life. Continue reading
...
Am I a burnout? What can I do about it?
04/02/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Career
The concept Burnout (syndrome) has
become a major element of our every day vocabulary. The Californian
psychologist Christina Maslach first examined it in 1976. She
identified the syndrome’s three components:
- Emotional exhaustion: The sense of being exhausted and depleted by professional contact with other people.
- Depersonalization: Apathy, insensitivity, disinterest in people, work processes and –performance.
- Reduced productivity: The feeling of no longer being capable to accomplish a task well and successfully.
Do what you enjoy doing!
The American psychologist Mihály
Csikszentmihályi did research on the subject of happiness in
the middle 70s and came to the conclusion that people experienced
the most happiness when they were in a state that he called „Flow“.
Flow means that we are totally immersed in an activity
while everything else becomes secondary. Time and space,
even our own needs recede and lose their significance. We are
totally concentrated, the task completely absorbs us, and we merge
with whatever we are doing, so to speak. This is indeed an
important character strength for the achievement of your happiness:
Enthusiasm! Enthusiasm represents the ability to meet the world
with excitement and energy, to be totally involved with what one
happens to be doing at the time. Continue reading
...
How career profiling can improve your job satisfaction
03/16/11 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Career
As in all other areas of your life,
your personality plays a decisive role in the things you enjoy or
don’t enjoy. It plays a role in why you are more successful in a
particular area with less effort and why some areas might be more
difficult for you and require more effort. Your personality affects
how you affect others and how you see them. In addition to your
personal partnership, your profession should ideally be the second
sustaining mainstay in your life.
Continue reading ...
Gratitude is a key to happiness
On the first weekend of October most
German religious communities again will celebrate Thanksgiving. (In the USA it is not celebrated until the
end of November although the basic idea is quite similar.) Here in
the rural area where we live as well as in the cities people are
doing their very best to decorate church sanctuaries with fruit,
vegetables and flowers. In my opinion it represents a wonderful
tradition because at least once a year it breaks with this matter
of course habit of our, usually thoughtless daily excursions to
super markets and stores. We are rarely aware that compared to the
rest of the world, we are magnificently provided for.
Continue
reading ...
How problems can make you feel happy
Yes, you read correctly:
Problems will make you happy! In psychological
research something that looks like a contradiction at first glance,
turns out to be a simple but important truth. Because, whoever is
never confronted with obstacles or difficulties also never gets a
chance at a very important happiness component: The sense of having
faced and mastered a challenge. Continue
reading ...
Salutogenesis: Why it is healthy to give your life meaning
08/24/10 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Psychology
The word salutogenesis is composed
of the Latin word salus (= inviolacy, happiness) and the Greek word
genesis (= origin). Thus it stands for the origin of health and was
coined in the 70s by the Israeli-American medical sociologist
Aaron
Antonovsky. Antonovsky was looking for an explanation
for his observation that, while many Holocaust survivors were
suffering from severe after effects (physical and emotional
illnesses), others did not show any such symptoms, at all. He
intended to find out, which factors determined whether a person
would cope with the same traumatic experiences more easily or with
more difficulty than another. Therefore he was interested in the
origin (or retention) of health – even under difficult and
stressful conditions.
Continue reading ...
How to start living your personal, happiness-supporting lifestyle
07/22/10 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Happiness
In recent years hardly any other
psychological field of research has grown as intensively and has
received as much attention as the so-called positive psychology. In the early 90s of the last
century, a group of psychologists asked themselves why so much
attention had been focused on the origin of psychiatric disorders
and their elimination by way of therapies, and very little
attention had been dedicated to the origin of mental health and the
circumstances supporting it. These psychologists wanted to change
this, and to that end, began to increasingly dedicate themselves to
researching the prerequisites of happiness, contentment, and mental
health.
Continue reading ...
How to fight procrastination
Whatever you can do today can surely
be put off till the day after tomorrow as well … or something like
that. Who of us is not familiar with that thought and especially
where it concerns something unpleasant, tedious or boring or, to
make matters worse, if there are a lot more titillating
alternatives begging for our attention. Not a problem if it happens
occasionally, just as long as it does not get to be the rule. On
the other hand, there are people with whom putting things off has
become chronic and in extreme cases manages to mess up their entire
life. The technical term for the tendency to continuously postpone
things is procrastination; there are folks who
actually have to be treated with psychotherapy because they just
can’t manage to begin or complete their tasks on time. In those
cases writing a dissertation can take years… Continue reading
...
Analyzing your self-image (Self Confidence, Part 4)
07/14/09 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Self-Confidence
During the last time while on the
subject of self-confidence I proposed that you establish a
“Benevolent
Inner Observer” as the counterweight to you “Inner Detractor”
within yourself. It is meant to help you treat yourself a little
more leniently and gently in your normal every day life as well as
in times of stress and frustration, than you probably normally
would. Most people with low self-esteem are very good at tearing
themselves down and calling themselves names because they are not
used at motivating and building themselves up. Today I would like
you to take one step further and analyze your entire self-image one
more time. If I am not totally off base with my assessment, you
have been lots more generous with the darker colors while you
simply ignored a lot of brightness and beauty. Continue reading
...
The Benevolent Inner Observer (Self Confidence, Part 3)
07/02/09 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Self-Confidence
Today I am back to one of my favorite
subjects on this Blog: The subject of self-confidence. Part 1
dealt with all sorts of reasons for a lack of self confidence,
while in part 2
you already received your first tips how you may be able to
question a potential innermost negative dialogue with yourself and
how you may be able to replace it with one that should be more
helpful. With this contribution I would like to try and give you
some support in dealing a little more friendly with yourself in
every day life.
Experience shows that people with a reduced sense of self worth like to live according the motto: “Love your neighbor more than yourself!” Surely a socially acceptable mantra and for those around you obviously quite comfortable and agreeable! However not a particularly fertile soil for the growth of a sound self-confidence and innermost equilibrium – and if one is inclined to believe the bible, even God is less exacting in his demands of us and He probably knows why… Continue reading ...
Experience shows that people with a reduced sense of self worth like to live according the motto: “Love your neighbor more than yourself!” Surely a socially acceptable mantra and for those around you obviously quite comfortable and agreeable! However not a particularly fertile soil for the growth of a sound self-confidence and innermost equilibrium – and if one is inclined to believe the bible, even God is less exacting in his demands of us and He probably knows why… Continue reading ...
Dealing with negative thoughts (Self Confidence, Part 2)
As already discussed in
Part 1, today we don’t deal with the potential reasons for an
underdeveloped feeling of self worth but with helpful strategies to
make some changes. Unfortunately, there is no magic formula that
would help to change low self-confidence into a stronger sense of
confidence over night. I personally don’t think much of weekend
workshops when brain washing is supposed to change negative
thinking into a positive attitude within a few hours. Our thought
processes are the result of years, decades of evolution and
programming and these patterns are deeply embedded. To change that
takes lots of discipline, effort and time (after all, it took lots
of effort and time to embed it in us that deeply, in the first
place!) Therefore, the most important appeal to you going in:
Please have patience with yourself! If you take too much on in the
beginning and then are disappointed and blame yourself you are
already in the middle of a totally counter productive process!
Because now you put yourself down to begin with instead of dealing
with yourself a little more lovingly and fairly. It is much smarter
to set yourself small and attainable goals and not to give up if
you occasionally have the feeling of not getting anywhere. It is
worth it, I guarantee it!
Continue reading ...
First impressions in a job interview: why they really matter
05/19/09 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Career
“You never get a second chance to make
a first impression.“ How true! Personnel directors and job coaches have
emphasized the importance of the first handshake and eye contact on
the occasion of the first job interview for years. It is obvious
that the first impression also plays a role when flirting. Indeed,
a study at Princeton University clearly demonstrates how quickly
the counterpart’s – at any rate temporary – judgment is reached. It
states that we only have one tenth of a second to catch the
interest of our opposite number. With a little bad luck we could
well have landed on the trash dump of history’s flirts after that.
Or have messed up the chance for a new job.
The study’s participants had to judge portrait pictures according to traits like “attractive”, “likeable”, “trustworthy”, “capable”, or “aggressive”. The photos initially appeared on the screen one tenth of a second, then half a second and finally for an entire second. Each time the test subjects had to give their evaluation and at the same time state how sure they were of their judgment. With one exception the test subjects did not change their assessment even after they had an opportunity to look at the picture for a longer period of time; then they were even more sure of their valuation. Social psychologists call this phenomenon the Halo-Effect that is actually based on an erroneous perception: A person’s individual characteristics create an overall impression that can be extremely persistent. For instance, classic examples are the assumptions “attractive” = „lovable, nice“, or “wearer of glasses” = “intelligent, wise”, “blond” = “dumb, ignorant” … etc. Continue reading ...
The study’s participants had to judge portrait pictures according to traits like “attractive”, “likeable”, “trustworthy”, “capable”, or “aggressive”. The photos initially appeared on the screen one tenth of a second, then half a second and finally for an entire second. Each time the test subjects had to give their evaluation and at the same time state how sure they were of their judgment. With one exception the test subjects did not change their assessment even after they had an opportunity to look at the picture for a longer period of time; then they were even more sure of their valuation. Social psychologists call this phenomenon the Halo-Effect that is actually based on an erroneous perception: A person’s individual characteristics create an overall impression that can be extremely persistent. For instance, classic examples are the assumptions “attractive” = „lovable, nice“, or “wearer of glasses” = “intelligent, wise”, “blond” = “dumb, ignorant” … etc. Continue reading ...
How to find a job that makes you happy
05/08/09 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Career
On iPersonic we do offer you important
resources for your dream job search with our career test and our iPersonic Career
Profile. An article I recently came across demonstrates the
desperate need for this. Its content with the heading “Every third
person dislikes his/her job” shocked me. The results of a
representative survey conducted on behalf of the German Labor Union
gives food for thought:
Of the 6168 questioned on average only 12% described their work as “good”, 54% as “mediocre” and for 34% it was just “bad”.
The numbers fluctuated somewhat depending on the professional branch; when asked the unskilled laborers – who is surprised – were especially dissatisfied. Not one of them liked his/her work and 61% responded to the question with “bad”. Temporary workers turned out to be above average unhappy, as well. One the other hand, engineers and members of professions involving natural sciences were satisfied with their work 23% above average while 21% were the most seldom dissatisfied. According to the study they have a “high measure of influence- and development opportunities, meaningful work, a minimum of physical and emotional stress, a commensurate income combined with a high degree of professional security and supportive, development- and learn conducive work organizations- and environments.” Continue reading ...
Of the 6168 questioned on average only 12% described their work as “good”, 54% as “mediocre” and for 34% it was just “bad”.
The numbers fluctuated somewhat depending on the professional branch; when asked the unskilled laborers – who is surprised – were especially dissatisfied. Not one of them liked his/her work and 61% responded to the question with “bad”. Temporary workers turned out to be above average unhappy, as well. One the other hand, engineers and members of professions involving natural sciences were satisfied with their work 23% above average while 21% were the most seldom dissatisfied. According to the study they have a “high measure of influence- and development opportunities, meaningful work, a minimum of physical and emotional stress, a commensurate income combined with a high degree of professional security and supportive, development- and learn conducive work organizations- and environments.” Continue reading ...
Learning to trust yourself (Self-Confidence, Part 1)
05/04/09 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Self-Confidence
During recent conversations with my
clients I frequently thought about how many of their concerns and
emotional hardships were rooted in the concepts of self-confidence,
self- respect, feeling of self-worth – or rather the lack of it.
Whether you are the young man who is tired of being single but has
lost almost all hope because he really can’t find anything worth
loving in himself. Or the woman in her best years whose children
are past the most difficult stages and now nothing stands in the
way of her return to professional life – except her conviction that
she won’t be up to a work day and its demands. Or the pretty girl
in her mid twenties who has postponed a vital operation for much
too long because the thought of a scar disfiguring her otherwise
perfect body is just too terrible to contemplate. Somehow it’s
always the same thing: “I don’t like myself.” “I am not good enough
the way I am.” “I am useless unless I am perfect.” “I am
incompetent.”
Self-confidence, the feeling of self-worth, self-esteem – in the final essence they are all rooted in self-respect and the appreciation of the strengths and weaknesses making us the person we are. Those who have been fortunate were given a healthy portion of it during childhood: They had parents whose demands were neither too high (and thus asking too much) nor too low (and thus lacking stimulus for an optimal development). They may have received many positive impulses from home and other people, experienced lots of love, affection and interest and therefore developed the feeling of being liked by others regardless of their own achievements. If they were truly children of the sun they were even fortunate with their friends and fellow students – these days described as a peer group. They were accepted, became a part and were made to feel comfortable and appreciated. Usually this represents the “fertile soil” for a pretty solid feeling of self-worth, the sense that one is alright and going to somehow manage dealing with life’s demands - albeit sometimes a little more easily than at others, but satisfactorily, nevertheless. Then one takes minor adversities or negative experiences in stride; they don’t begin diminishing one as a person in one’s own eyes. Continue reading ...
Self-confidence, the feeling of self-worth, self-esteem – in the final essence they are all rooted in self-respect and the appreciation of the strengths and weaknesses making us the person we are. Those who have been fortunate were given a healthy portion of it during childhood: They had parents whose demands were neither too high (and thus asking too much) nor too low (and thus lacking stimulus for an optimal development). They may have received many positive impulses from home and other people, experienced lots of love, affection and interest and therefore developed the feeling of being liked by others regardless of their own achievements. If they were truly children of the sun they were even fortunate with their friends and fellow students – these days described as a peer group. They were accepted, became a part and were made to feel comfortable and appreciated. Usually this represents the “fertile soil” for a pretty solid feeling of self-worth, the sense that one is alright and going to somehow manage dealing with life’s demands - albeit sometimes a little more easily than at others, but satisfactorily, nevertheless. Then one takes minor adversities or negative experiences in stride; they don’t begin diminishing one as a person in one’s own eyes. Continue reading ...
How the iPersonic Compatibility Color Coding System works
03/31/09 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Personality
Today a few words about our color system and the principle
behind it. You may have already asked yourself: "Why do they claim
that similar colors stand for certain personality types that are a
good match and what is this all about?"
In the vernacular we find two totally contradictory proverbs on the subject of attraction, love and friendship. All of us are familiar with: “Birds of a feather flock together” and the other one: “Opposites attract.” When one scientifically deals with the question why we feel more comfortable in the company of one person but not of another, you find that there is a lot of truth in the vernacular. Research tells us that to a point both principles have their justification.
In general, we instinctively prefer the company of people who are similar to ourselves regarding the important aspects of our personality, our origin and convictions. That stands to reason. In one respect this similarity makes dealing with them easier, communication works more smoothly, and all kinds of conflicts don’t even make their appearance because one agrees in the important matters anyway. This is obviously a lot more agreeable than endless discussions about every triviality in order to finally reach a compromise. Beyond that, we appreciate people who validate our view of the world rather than those seeing everything differently. This conformity is assuring and gives us self-confidence. Research even has a term for this phenomenon, i.e. choosing a partner: Homogeny. Multiple studies in a variety of scientific categories substantiate this tendency to choose someone similar. Continue reading ...
In the vernacular we find two totally contradictory proverbs on the subject of attraction, love and friendship. All of us are familiar with: “Birds of a feather flock together” and the other one: “Opposites attract.” When one scientifically deals with the question why we feel more comfortable in the company of one person but not of another, you find that there is a lot of truth in the vernacular. Research tells us that to a point both principles have their justification.
In general, we instinctively prefer the company of people who are similar to ourselves regarding the important aspects of our personality, our origin and convictions. That stands to reason. In one respect this similarity makes dealing with them easier, communication works more smoothly, and all kinds of conflicts don’t even make their appearance because one agrees in the important matters anyway. This is obviously a lot more agreeable than endless discussions about every triviality in order to finally reach a compromise. Beyond that, we appreciate people who validate our view of the world rather than those seeing everything differently. This conformity is assuring and gives us self-confidence. Research even has a term for this phenomenon, i.e. choosing a partner: Homogeny. Multiple studies in a variety of scientific categories substantiate this tendency to choose someone similar. Continue reading ...
Intuition – Knowledge on a Gut-Level
03/13/09 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Personality
Eight of our sixteen personality types in the third
dimension prefer intuition to sensing: All Thinkers (Analytical, Groundbreaking, Independent and Dynamic) and all Idealists
(Spontaneous,
Engaged, Dreamy and Harmony-seeking). However,
what does that actually mean for their every day life?
Neuroscientists have known this for a long time: Our consciousness is not even close to being able to handle all the information that continuously floods it. Consequently, it focuses on the immediate and important and continuously blocks the majority of external stimuli out. Just now, as you read this, your subconscious receives all kinds of signals which your consciousness deliberately ignores because otherwise you would not be able to concentrate on the text: information about your physical posture (or were you even aware up to now which parts of your body were touching the chair and which were touching the floor? how warm or how cold your hands are right now? or if a little tension in your neck is coming on?), a number of environmental information (brightness, background noises, temperature, the presence of a colleague sitting on the neighboring table…) and countless more things. All these informational units end up in your subconscious and with incredible speed are processed, evaluated, sorted and filtered. They are usually only transferred into the foreground – i.e. your consciousness – when they become urgent (when your chair collapses under you, for instance!). Continue reading ...
Neuroscientists have known this for a long time: Our consciousness is not even close to being able to handle all the information that continuously floods it. Consequently, it focuses on the immediate and important and continuously blocks the majority of external stimuli out. Just now, as you read this, your subconscious receives all kinds of signals which your consciousness deliberately ignores because otherwise you would not be able to concentrate on the text: information about your physical posture (or were you even aware up to now which parts of your body were touching the chair and which were touching the floor? how warm or how cold your hands are right now? or if a little tension in your neck is coming on?), a number of environmental information (brightness, background noises, temperature, the presence of a colleague sitting on the neighboring table…) and countless more things. All these informational units end up in your subconscious and with incredible speed are processed, evaluated, sorted and filtered. They are usually only transferred into the foreground – i.e. your consciousness – when they become urgent (when your chair collapses under you, for instance!). Continue reading ...
Discover your Strengths
03/03/09 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in:
Personality
As you know, our 16 Personality Types are
distinguished by totally different preferences, dislikes and
naturally also different strengths (and development potential, but
that is not our subject today). For instance, the “Thinkers” are
outstanding analyzers who can handle abstract and complex subjects
especially well and for whom even the most complicated problem
solutions are a breeze. The “Idealists” usually possess a special
creativity and a sparkling charisma that frequently make them into
gifted artists and fascinating conversationalists. One can only
envy the “Doers” for their inexhaustible energy and drive just as
for their uncomplicated pragmatism that stands them in good stead
during tumultuous times. And nobody has as much staying power and
determination where his/her objectives are concerned as the
“Realists” who are also blessed with a sound common sense. (You can
determine your professional strengths in our free career
test).
These are only some examples – the list can obviously be increased at will and gets more differentiated when not just the four primary groups but also each type is considered individually. In every day life we always tend to concentrate on our weaknesses and mistakes. We all too easily loose sight of our strengths. That is how we remember it from our childhood (unless you were really fortunate with your parents, of course!) and that is how we often deal with our partners, as well (or have you praised yours for something he or she has done yet today?). Of course, if one wants to change something or make sure not to repeat a mistake, it sometimes makes sense to deal with one’s weaknesses. On the other hand those who are constantly wearing deficit-oriented spectacles are going to end up having a problem with their self-esteem and sooner or later will lack a healthy self-confidence. And after all, those are important requirements for a happy life. Continue reading ...
These are only some examples – the list can obviously be increased at will and gets more differentiated when not just the four primary groups but also each type is considered individually. In every day life we always tend to concentrate on our weaknesses and mistakes. We all too easily loose sight of our strengths. That is how we remember it from our childhood (unless you were really fortunate with your parents, of course!) and that is how we often deal with our partners, as well (or have you praised yours for something he or she has done yet today?). Of course, if one wants to change something or make sure not to repeat a mistake, it sometimes makes sense to deal with one’s weaknesses. On the other hand those who are constantly wearing deficit-oriented spectacles are going to end up having a problem with their self-esteem and sooner or later will lack a healthy self-confidence. And after all, those are important requirements for a happy life. Continue reading ...