iPersonic Blog

Career and life advice by Felicitas Heyne

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The end of your life will reveal whether you knew who you were

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Tough Time for Realists

I have always thought that our modern world tends to fit certain ipersonic personality types rather more than other profiles. Ursula Huber’s lead article in the recent “Psychologie Heute” (Psychology Today) again reminded me of this subject and in a way confirmed my reflections. In her intro she writes: “The world is an uncertain place. One cannot depend on anything any longer: not on the Euro, not on love, not on politicians, not on job security.” And she quotes the psychologist Ernst-Dieter Lantermann at Kassel University who summarizes: “ Modern living conditions are precarious living conditions.” Continue reading ...

How to Dominate your Inner Drivers

You may still remember the blog posting where I introduced you to the five inner drivers defined by the transaction analyst Taibi Kahler as being typical for human self-control. Today the subject will deal with enabling you to put your personal inner drivers in their place when they tend to overdo driving you. Continue reading ...

Communication Skills Part 1: You don’t hear what I say . . . or vice versa

Just as there are different personality types, there are naturally different ways to communicate. An extroverted person talks a lot, preferably about him/herself, easily establishes contact and generally has no problem to assimilate lots of information. An introverted person, on the other hand is more reserved, does not reveal a lot of him/herself and tends to retreat in the face of too much exterior stimuli. Over time, in the course of this blog we will deal with communications idiosyncrasies of the different types. There are two objectives: First of all it helps to recognize how someone prefers to communicate because then one is able to adjust to his/her respective style and there is a better chance for a productive exchange. Secondly it is always interesting to analyze one’s own communication strengths and weaknesses and possibly tweak them a little to be more successful in everyday life and become more confident in dealing with others. Continue reading ...

My Blind Spot - The Difference between Self-Awareness and External Perception

iPersonic continuously deals with the question of one’s own personality and identity and how we see others and ourselves. This represents the intriguing question as to how much and to what extent we are even capable of truly assessing ourselves. Where do we see ourselves as we actually are and how others perceive us? And where may we possibly even be incapable to see ourselves as we really are? Continue reading ...

Are introverted and extroverted Partners a Match?

Question of a Reader: "I am an introvert myself but my friend is totally extroverted. At first it was no problem because I tend to believe that he likes the fact that I am very quiet. And I also liked it because he is a funny, lively chap and because there are aspects to his nature I am lacking but find interesting. On the other hand the problem is that he is extremely talkative and inquisitive. While he always tries to draw strangers into conversations regardless of the location, be it the drug store or the hot dog stand in order to learn something new, I am the exact opposite. I prefer to avoid getting involved in conversations with others because it just isn’t my thing and I would rather be left alone, most of the time I wouldn’t even know what to say. Originally, we saw our contrast in a positive light and told each other that we would be able to help each other - I to get him to quiet down and keep his feet on the ground and he by helping me to open up a little. However, the reality is that he is a person who truly enjoys conversations, who knows a lot about lots of things and who can talk for hours. And that is the point when things get very stressful for me. I am always being delegated to the corner and can’t get out of it. When I happen to say something, he immediately has something to contribute and is right back in control of the conversation. Conversations are wonderful if everyone gets his or her turn but it's a bit much for me when I am always relegated to the role of a listener. Beyond that I fear to bore him when I say nothing. Can this relationship work nonetheless?"
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What is Personality?

Philosophers, authors and scientists have been challenged since ancient times by the question as to what constitutes human personality. The physician Hippocrates (460 – 377 BC) developed one of the oldest personality models we know. He divided humans into four different temperament types: sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric, and melancholic and attributed not only certain character traits but also the propensity for certain diseases to each of them. Obviously Hippocrates’ personality model has long been superseded, but even as of today researchers have been unable to agree on a common definition for what constitutes personality. Our personality can probably best be defined as a complex construction of our daily perceptions, thoughts and activities. Conversely our personality also influences our perception of the world, our way of thinking and acting. Continue reading ...

Do you know your Drivers?

During the course of my continuing education I recently came across the concept of the so-called „Drivers“ that immediately downright fascinated me. This concept originates from transactional analysis (a theory dealing with the human personality and a related psychotherapeutic procedure). The “Drivers” are a model for inner patterns, one could also call them motivators: they influence our thinking, feeling and behavior. As so many of our inner patterns they also date back to our infancy; they basically represent the voices of external authorities (primarily those of our parents but also those of teachers, other important persons or society in general). Step by step, we tend to internalize the demands and expectations of these authorities to the point where they become an integral part of our very being. Continue reading ...

Are you a Steve Jobs personality?

A lot has been written about the personality of Apple founder and visionary Steve Jobs since his death. Speaking in terms of iPersonic personality types Steve Jobs was a perfect example of a Groundbreaking Thinker. The corresponding description of this personality type really hits the nail on the head:
(... ) You really bubble over with energy and like to take centre stage. You love variety both professionally and privately. You tackle changes consistently with your optimism and firm belief in your own abilities; you are always on the look-out for improvement possibilities. (...) Hierarchies, rules and regulations arouse your opposition and you love outsmarting the system. It can happen that some people feel somewhat duped by your flexible, spontaneous nature. (...)

(You can read the complete description of the Groundbreaking Thinker here.)
Definitely Steve Jobs! And what about you? Are you a Steve Jobs personality? Find out by taking our free personality test! Continue reading ...

Is your Relationship stuck in a Communication Loop?

Today the subject again deals with different personality styles, this time with the focus on the traits “extroverted” and “introverted”, respectively. If you diagnosed your type with the help of our free personality test, you already know whether you are an extrovert or an introvert:

Extroverted: Energetic Doer, Laid-Back Doer, Determined Realist, Social Realist, Spontaneous Idealist, Engaged Idealist, Groundbreaking Thinker, Dynamic Thinker

Introverted: Individualistic Doer, Sensitive Doer, Reliable Realist, Good-Natured Realist, Dreamy Idealist, Harmony-Seeking Idealist, Analytical Thinker, Independent Thinker Continue reading ...

How to make a Borderline Relationship work

Therapies for couples can be a demanding affair all on their own; for the therapist it is frequently like walking on eggshells between empathy and neutrality among the wishes of both partners and the struggle not to be made into an ally in a bad triangle. If one of the two partners is borderliner as well, as a therapist I then feel as if I am dealing with a relationship powder keg ready to explode at the smallest wrong move. Continue reading ...

How Idealists can find Meaning in their Lives

The primary aspiration of all Idealists (Spontaneous Idealists, Dreamy Idealists, Harmony-seeking Idealists and Engaged Idealists) is self-discovery and self-actualization. If you are an Idealist, life represents one continuous search for a deeper meaning: Who am I? Where am I going? What is my destiny? This already describes the most important pillar of your personal concept of happiness: The meaning of life! Continue reading ...

Idealists need a Vocation, not a Profession

There are for idealistic personality types in the iPersonic Typology: the Spontaneous Idealist, the Dreamy Idealist, the Engaged Idealist and the Harmony-seeking Idealist. You can take our free personality test to find out if you belong to one of those iPersonic personality types. If you do, only a profession that is important and worth your while is going to satisfy you in the long run. The latter was not intended to imply something material. Since you have a profound personal value system and your need for meaning in all areas of life is strong you must make sure that this aspect becomes a part of your professional every day life, as well. A pure bread-and-butter profession you only practice to make a living and without conviction – or, even worse: contrary to your innermost conviction - is a guarantee for unhappiness. Therefore, you should ask yourself whether your today‘s profession satisfies you in this regard or whether there is need for a change. Continue reading ...

About the iPersonic Personality Test

Our free personality test is extrapolated from a typology which was originally developed by the psychoanalyst Carl Gustaf Jung and later differentiated by Isabel Meyers and Katherine Briggs. This typology is based on different temperaments and attitudes respectively that are widely held to be hereditary. They take influence on our perceptions, thought process, feelings and behavior. This typology is based on four opposite pairs of personality dimensions. These are: Continue reading ...

How to fight procrastination

Whatever you can do today can surely be put off till the day after tomorrow as well … or something like that. Who of us is not familiar with that thought and especially where it concerns something unpleasant, tedious or boring or, to make matters worse, if there are a lot more titillating alternatives begging for our attention. Not a problem if it happens occasionally, just as long as it does not get to be the rule. On the other hand, there are people with whom putting things off has become chronic and in extreme cases manages to mess up their entire life. The technical term for the tendency to continuously postpone things is procrastination; there are folks who actually have to be treated with psychotherapy because they just can’t manage to begin or complete their tasks on time. In those cases writing a dissertation can take years… Continue reading ...

How the iPersonic Compatibility Color Coding System works

Today a few words about our color system and the principle behind it. You may have already asked yourself: "Why do they claim that similar colors stand for certain personality types that are a good match and what is this all about?"

In the vernacular we find two totally contradictory proverbs on the subject of attraction, love and friendship. All of us are familiar with: “Birds of a feather flock together” and the other one: “Opposites attract.” When one scientifically deals with the question why we feel more comfortable in the company of one person but not of another, you find that there is a lot of truth in the vernacular. Research tells us that to a point both principles have their justification.

In general, we instinctively prefer the company of people who are similar to ourselves regarding the important aspects of our personality, our origin and convictions. That stands to reason. In one respect this similarity makes dealing with them easier, communication works more smoothly, and all kinds of conflicts don’t even make their appearance because one agrees in the important matters anyway. This is obviously a lot more agreeable than endless discussions about every triviality in order to finally reach a compromise. Beyond that, we appreciate people who validate our view of the world rather than those seeing everything differently. This conformity is assuring and gives us self-confidence. Research even has a term for this phenomenon, i.e. choosing a partner: Homogeny. Multiple studies in a variety of scientific categories substantiate this tendency to choose someone similar. Continue reading ...

Intuition – Knowledge on a Gut-Level

Eight of our sixteen personality types in the third dimension prefer intuition to sensing: All Thinkers (0ppp, Groundbreaking, Independent and Dynamic) and all Idealists (Spontaneous, Engaged, Dreamy and Harmony-seeking). However, what does that actually mean for their every day life?

Neuroscientists have known this for a long time: Our consciousness is not even close to being able to handle all the information that continuously floods it. Consequently, it focuses on the immediate and important and continuously blocks the majority of external stimuli out. Just now, as you read this, your subconscious receives all kinds of signals which your consciousness deliberately ignores because otherwise you would not be able to concentrate on the text: information about your physical posture (or were you even aware up to now which parts of your body were touching the chair and which were touching the floor? how warm or how cold your hands are right now? or if a little tension in your neck is coming on?), a number of environmental information (brightness, background noises, temperature, the presence of a colleague sitting on the neighboring table…) and countless more things. All these informational units end up in your subconscious and with incredible speed are processed, evaluated, sorted and filtered. They are usually only transferred into the foreground – i.e. your consciousness – when they become urgent (when your chair collapses under you, for instance!). Continue reading ...

Discover your Strengths

As you know, our 16 Personality Types are distinguished by totally different preferences, dislikes and naturally also different strengths (and development potential, but that is not our subject today). For instance, the “Thinkers” are outstanding analyzers who can handle abstract and complex subjects especially well and for whom even the most complicated problem solutions are a breeze. The “Idealists” usually possess a special creativity and a sparkling charisma that frequently make them into gifted artists and fascinating conversationalists. One can only envy the “Doers” for their inexhaustible energy and drive just as for their uncomplicated pragmatism that stands them in good stead during tumultuous times. And nobody has as much staying power and determination where his/her objectives are concerned as the “Realists” who are also blessed with a sound common sense. (You can determine your professional strengths in our free career test).

These are only some examples – the list can obviously be increased at will and gets more differentiated when not just the four primary groups but also each type is considered individually. In every day life we always tend to concentrate on our weaknesses and mistakes. We all too easily loose sight of our strengths. That is how we remember it from our childhood (unless you were really fortunate with your parents, of course!) and that is how we often deal with our partners, as well (or have you praised yours for something he or she has done yet today?). Of course, if one wants to change something or make sure not to repeat a mistake, it sometimes makes sense to deal with one’s weaknesses. On the other hand those who are constantly wearing deficit-oriented spectacles are going to end up having a problem with their self-esteem and sooner or later will lack a healthy self-confidence. And after all, those are important requirements for a happy life. Continue reading ...

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