Breaking the Cycle: How Anticipatory Anxiety Sabotages Our Lives
"...and then every day I go to bed with all these negative thoughts in my head and I toss and turn for hours. This has been going on for weeks now. I really need a good night's sleep. Of course I'm always tired during the day. Every evening, I dread turning off the light. I know I won't be able to sleep again!“
It's a classic vicious cycle that my client describes. Sleep specialists call this psychophysiological or learned insomnia: After a few bad nights, an internal pressure to perform starts to arise ("I really have to sleep now!"), and the associated tension naturally makes you lie wide awake in bed - again. If this happens several times in a row, something builds up that psychologists call anticipatory anxiety - nicely illustrated in my client's story above. You expect the worst to happen for sure. Continue reading ...
Healthy stress: why a little pressure is actually good for us
What would you say - which factors are particularly important for a long, healthy and happy life? Firstly, a healthy diet, then enough sleep, and I'm sure you would also list sport or at least regular exercise, wouldn't you? Perhaps, on the contrary, you would also advise against some things that are generally considered harmful to health: Alcohol, nicotine and other stimulants, for example. You would almost certainly also cite stress as unhealthy in this context. Many health apostles consider it to be the ultimate cause of illness, obesity and unhappiness. But is that even true?
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Scented memories: How odours shape our feelings and memories
If I were to ask you what your favourite colour is right now, you would probably have an answer at the ready. But have you ever thought about what your personal favourite fragrance is? If not, now is the time to do so. Because today we're going to talk about odours and their influence on our psyche. Continue reading ...
The power of spring: how natural rhythms influence our well-being
January has flown by - the day after tomorrow, on the second of February, is Candlemas. One of my favourite dates in the calendar! In my childhood, this day was interwoven with all kinds of country proverbs that were often quoted in our family. "Candlemas in clover - Easter in snow", to name just one of them. The reliability of such weather forecasts was always a matter for debate! Continue reading ...
A Buddhist‘s Way to calm down your Critical Inner Voice
Learn how to calm your critical inner voice, the part of your personality that is always busy confronting you with your faults in character or telling you what you did wrong. Continue reading ...
10 Tips to beat Springtime Lethargy
According to studies many persons are affected by springtime lethargy. Here's what you can do about it. Continue reading ...
The 20 ultimate Tips for a functioning Relationship
26/02/15 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in: Love
Is it up to us whether our love works for the long haul or is it simply fate? Check out 20 tips to make make your relationship work. Continue reading ...
Spring Cleaning – Decluttering satisfies and releases Energies
05/02/15 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in: Happiness
Ever tried an „energy“ spring-cleaning per Feng-Shui? Never heard of it? Then it’s about high time! You’ll see, it is fun and in all respects worth it. Continue reading ...
The Fear of Terrorism - How does it affect us?
21/01/15 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in: Crisis
People who are beset by anxiety disorders or depressions will be further de-stabilized by these events. But then many people thus far not suffering from these problems may possibly now sense their own nervous tension or agitation, even concrete anxiety symptoms: insomnia, disproportionate strong reactions to stress situations, a subliminal testiness, problems with concentrating . . . whatever. Continue reading ...
How to gain Vital Energy by clearing out Social Contacts
Although it may not be easy: I can only recommend a regular review of all personal social contacts. Here's why. Continue reading ...
A New Year – a New Life? Positive New Year’s Resolutions and how one actually keeps them
05/01/15 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in: Personal Development
Self-control is obviously the most important prerequisite for hanging tough with good resolutions. Breaking with potentially bad or unhealthy but longstanding habits requires lots of will power. Continue reading ...
Lessons for Life I learned from Cats
11/03/14 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in: Life
Learning by imitation and also by interacting and truly getting involved with cats provides us with any number of opportunities for the progression of our own personality. Continue reading ...
How to guard against the Empty Nest Syndrome
24/02/14 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in: Love
Why do so many parents have such a difficult time to let go of their offspring when the time comes? Continue reading ...
True Love isn't Found. It's Built.
03/02/14 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in: Love
Love: the ever-changing feeling. Is it at all possible to even influence it, i.e. its permanence? Oh yes, we can! Continue reading ...
Thirteen Tips for stressed-out Mothers
27/01/14 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in: Education
Recently a client asked me to help her develop a few good ideas how she could react differently to the every-day stress situations involving both of her (in this case a two and six year old) children. („Differently“ in this case means: other than reacting under pressure, in a foul mood, yelling, doubting motherhood or considering to make the kids available for adoption). Since these and similar questions seem to be the perennial subject in family therapies, I figured that it would be worthwhile to put our collective effort into writing and make it available to you who may be facing similar problems. In case you are also a mother (or father) you may even find this or the other suggestion to be helpful. Continue reading ...
Even more tips to fight your Seasonal Affective Disorder
As every year during these weeks search requests for our blog article on the subject Seasonal Affective Disorder are beginning to pile up. No wonder: Summer is clearly a thing of the past, fall and winter with their long, dark nights and unfortunately also frequent bleary days await. The nights are already uncomfortably cool. During these months the inherent light deficiency affects the emotional state of many. Studies show that during fall and winter many people complain about depressions, lack of energy and a ravenous appetite for something sweet. Psychologists describe this seasonal dependent depressive mood as SAD – seasonal affective disorder. As we face the threat of the blahs during the dark-cold season it is now high time to fight them with a few new tips from us!
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Anorexia – when the Soul is starving
07/08/13 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in: Crisis
Anorexia (Anorexia nervosa) usually begins with the desire to be – or to become slim. Many of those afflicted eventually slide into this disease via a diet. At one point the starvation diet gets out of control and starts to dominate the entire life. The fear for gaining weight increases to the point of creating a strictly controlled food intake – all the way to a complete refusal to eat. The worst part of all is: The afflicted develop a progressively distorted body image and finally see themselves as fat and bloated while in reality by now they are only skin and bones. When during therapy an anorexic person is asked to paint a picture of him/herself, the body silhouette always differs far from reality. Most of them are totally stunned when they lay down on a large sheet of paper and the therapist traces the girth of their body with a pen. They would have never imagined that both are images of the same person.
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Dreams, nightmares and their meaning
12/07/13 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in: Psychology
Dreams - a subject that my clients often bring up in the course of their therapy hours with me. “I dreamt this or that – what does it mean?” – “I always keep having the same dream, what is it telling me?” Those and others are the questions on this subject. Dreams are by their nature an interesting subject and not just as they relate to psychotherapy. Many people wonder about the meaning of their dreams and many researchers have of course already literally forever dealt with the subject of sleep and dreams.
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Is that truly my dream career?
27/06/13 by Felicitas Heyne | Filed in: Career
On iPersonic I have already frequently addressed the subject of how important the right career is for one’s happiness and life satisfaction. And therefore, it is so very important to know oneself and one’s own personality in order to make the correct decisions in this area. (You can take our free career test here!)
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Why women suffer from a distorted self-image
It’s been a while since I wrote the last time about the subject “Blind spot” here on iPersonic. That subject occurred to me yesterday for very personal reasons. As happens occasionally to all of us, yesterday I had obviously gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. With a few things very much on my mind I had not slept all that well. So, while brushing my teeth and already in a mousy mood, I dismayed to be “confronted” by my reflection in the mirror above the sink. Bags under the eyes, clearly lots more wrinkles than yesterday and then that strange new liver spot right next to my nose – could that possibly be the forerunner of senile freckles? And then I made the dumbest strategic mistake any woman can possibly commit in a situation such as this – I stepped on the scale! That pretty much did it for the day. I was tempted to go right back to bed. My already lousy mood hit bottom and established itself there for good.
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